5 YEARS ON Spoby
by maireadrg
Summary: Five years on and Toby and Spencer part ways for new lovers. When Toby returns to Rosewood can their spark be rekindled.
1. Chapter 1

Happily Ever After.

Emily POV

Dear Diary,

I've been looking back on the past five years and I struggle to see how different things are after A and after graduation.

Aria has moved away from Ezra. Their relationship just kept weakening with each day of Aria being step-mother, yet her and Ezra are still connected through Wesley. Aria's relationship with Wes is becoming for serious and the couple are making greater commitments, I think it's relaxing for Aria, simple and beneficial. Most important she's happy.

Hanna and Caleb are still together happier and stronger than ever again the drama of A has been lost and they too are happy. Seeing them together reminds everyone the pain is gone and we can be free.

I got back into college back. On track it feels better knowing I'm assured. Me and Paige are so in love she's so special I lost Maya and I don't think I'll ever stop loving her but I love Paige and her so differently when I think of Paige there is no Maya there to different.

The only insecurity, only thing that doesn't fit is Spencer and Toby. I know that the reason for their break-up was distance but that is no longer a problem, yet no attempts at returning to each other. My best friend Toby disappearing to New York were I know he doesn't belong for some diva bitch and Spencer playing her life safe with school teacher Andrew.

I mean how does it work for them there such an untouchable, unbelievably perfect couple yet they give up on their relationship over distance. Don't they ever wonder what could have been? Don't they ever picture it? They must both be on dope.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1.

Emily POV

I lay on my quilt, Hanna sitting across from me. I was in a vivid conversation with toby on the phone.

"Toby you're coming back to Rosewood! That's great!" I exclaimed.

"_Yeah, only a few days to help my dad pack up the house. Violet's coming with me." _Toby mumbled.

I made a disgusted expression and pressed my hand to the receiver. "Hanna the Bitch is coming." I grumbled. Hanna looked up from her magazines with a confused expression "who are we talking about." She muttered. I simply sighed "Toby call me as soon as your home."

_"Will do." _He said warmly.

We both hang up and I glance at Spencer's number maybe her and Toby have a chance now. Spencer would deny any interest. She had Andrew who she was contemplating moving in with but with Toby, Spencer would fall like a domino.

"We have to get Toby and Spencer together." I said planning

Hanna shook her head "We have work to focus on, money if they love each other we shouldn't have to put them together."

"You'd hate losing Caleb to a primadonna, Spencer does too but she's stubborn she'd never admit it without a push." I said

"Maybe I would but Spencer is smart. Andrew makes her happy no risks, she won't leave that assurance." Hanna responds

"I know she needs to step up." I mumbled already lost in thought. Just a little push.

* * *

Spencer POV

"_Hey Spence, how are you?"_ Andrew's voice crackles through the phone

"Tired." I mumbled, sipping coffee "You?"

"_Same"_ he replied _"have you been thinking about moving in at all? Spence things would be heaps easier that way." _He grumbled.

"I've been thinking and I'm just not sure yet."

"_…we've been together a year now. Why not?" _His voice is near pleading

"I like having my own space." I lied.

_"Night Spence…" _he said weakly

"Night Andrew" I replied in the same monotone voice he'd used.

* * *

Only nights ago I'd been on the verge of saying yes. Living with Andrew wouldn't be bad but talking to Emily on the phone had discouraged me. She surprised me with the fact Toby would be arriving in Rosewood any moment and how glad she was we could all be reunited. I guess the news spooked me Toby had been my first love it took me two years to forget about him and now I had Andrew. I couldn't loose that.

I reached out under my bed weakly grasping for the cardboard box I couldn't bring myself to destroy well I couldn't bring myself to destroy its contents. I hate not being able to destroy all these things; having these I felt like I'd cheated Andrew.

My slender fingers brush the side of the glossy photographic paper. The photographs say were still together, still in love. Holding hands, Hugging, Laughing, Grinning, Talking, Dancing, Kissing, Playing, being each other's support. I can't deny it that was once us. Even if I did destroy the photos the cards, the gifts, memories are indestructible.

I don't love Toby but I once did. I love Andrew, right?

Spencer of course you love Andrew. What am I saying?

I shove the box underneath my bed trying my hardest to ignore it. Things can't change simply because toby is coming back, he's in the past and Andrew is in my present.

It has been five years if Toby wanted me like I'd wanted him he would have come back so long ago saved me the pain. The time.

I grumbled incoherently and rolled over on to my side facing the window the moon was high in the overhead sky which was tainted black. Stars glinted mischievously staring back at me maybe even laughing at my lost direction.

God don't break me down. I've been trying too hard.

* * *

Toby POV

Katrina my glamorous wife entered into the kitchen where I leaned against the wall. Her slim build hesitated at the doorway. Her hair was in a bob of bouncy, free, fair hair with her porcelain skin and faultless features.

She noticed me staring "What?" her voice was soft and floaty.

After she applied her extra coat of lip-gloss I replied "I really can't believe I'm with you." it was true it was unbelievable.

Katrina giggled she liked it when it was all about her "If you can't believe it it's usually a dream."

"Then I don't think I'll be waking up any time soon." She kissed me softly only for a moment

Suddenly she was serious "Now I've heard things, only rumours about how you used to be pretty serious with a girl here. Will you have a thing with her again if we meet her?"

"Of course not; she's in the past." I tried to mean it but I couldn't pretend Spencer was my past. Here I was returned to be reunited with her and that had made me come to terms with the fact that I'd never loved anybody like I loved Spencer.

That didn't mean Katrina was an accessory I loved her.

Spencer had to be in the past or at least it had to seem that way.

* * *

**Okay so I'm currently thinking I did this chapter thing wrong. This site is really hard to use could someone please tell me how to link chapters, that would be great. Anyway if this did work I don't own PLL and the only character in this chapter I own is Katrina. I wrote this late and since this isn't serious, its like writing therapy I didn't edit this so maybe expect typos. I wrote this while listening to Lana Del Rey; Million Dollar Man.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so I knew it would happen I would end up abandoning this project. I'm not the best at staying on track but I got some reviews and they made me determined to continue, Thanks guys. I hope you guys don't mind this is a Spoby story so their will be Spoby but I am writing this at slow pace and I want it too be hard for Spencer and Toby to pick up the pieces so it might be slow paced at times. Uh, if you liked this and want me to continue please send a review as a guest or a user I'll try too stay focused for you!**

* * *

Spencer POV

"Spencer if you don't want to go to this dinner we don't have to." Said Andrew clearly. He'd repeated himself at least three times. It was my fault though I'd been distraught all day over the event of dinner with Toby, Emily, Paige, Hanna, Caleb and Toby's expensive, opulent new doll. It was Andrew's way of caring; worrying. Worrying about me and Toby meeting again and the Imaginary explosion that it won't cause.

As I search my clothes for the perfect dress for dinner I find a blue raw silk dress of knee length fabric. The collar is embellished with lace and decorative fake pearls. I tried it on and loved the way it fitted the feel of the softness as the silk floated and rippled like water. Suddenly memories surfaced at an alarming rate.

* * *

_"Toby you didn't have to organize this." I said smiling so brightly_

_"Of course I do. Its graduation dinner for us two." He said grinning_

_"Yeah! We do deserve this." I laughed as he lit the candle-sticks on the small table with the red and white tartan thrown over it._

_"You do." Toby said clearly holding my gaze. He adverted his gaze and looked at me, he tilted his head. "You look so beautiful all the time but your dress looks immensely beautiful on you."_

_"Are you sure it's not just the dress" I said smiling_

_"Hmm…no it's definitely you." He grinned_

_I lean in to kiss him "Fine I'll just have to learn to agree." I said smiling Toby beamed_

_Still beside Toby I look towards the mirror and smile. The colour looks just like his eyes._

* * *

I lean against my bed frame for support_. _I can't were that dress to dinner it could be confusing, I remember later that evening telling him I got the dress because I thought he'd like it. Yes it would confuse him I don't want him to think I want him back. I don't.

I settle for a dress I brought to wear for when I'm with Andrew a lilac knee length dress that hugged my curves, with a sweetheart neckline. I studied myself in the mirror the truth was I didn't like the way this dress made me loose what I had with Toby; the chance to be innocent because with him I was safe in his views and that was all the assurance I needed.

There I was wearing something so different from something I would of worn for Toby and I was enlightened with the fact Toby and Andrew were so different, Actually nobody I'd ever met was like Toby and that made my bottom lip tremble and betraying pearly tears to slip over my cheeks. I'd fallen deeply in love with somebody with no possible resemblance to anybody on earth and it hurt worse than being stabbed because this was like being stabbed repetitively.

Jumbled words trying to form coherent thoughts came tumbling towards me with impact.

Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal.

* * *

Toby's POV

I had my hand around Katrina's curved waist trying to steady myself as I opened the door to the Apple Rose Grille "Quaint place isn't it Tobes?" said Katrina curiously.

"Compared to New York I suppose it is." I said vaguely.

"You're not very focused are you" sighed Katrina.

Just above the bridge of my noes worry lines grew. I shouldn't have Katrina sullen too "I'm sorry. It's just that this is hard for me even if Rosewood is packed away." I admitted.

Katrina grimaced "Tobes you're going to let some old girl run you out of town? That's weak, anyway you've been excited to see Emily so let's just enjoy the evening." exclaimed Katrina.

I grinned and leaned down to kiss the top of her head tenderly. "Thanks." I replied.

Not far from where Katrina and I stalled I could see Hanna, Caleb, Emily and her girlfriend Paige all seated around the table for eight in lurid conversation. As me and Katrina strolled towards the table their whisperings got clearer "Seriously Emily this isn't going to work…" said Caleb evidently. Hanna nodded. "What isn't going to work" I interrupted, Emily looked up and beamed "Toby!" she hugged me tightly. Hanna smiled warmly and Caleb grinned too both said hello calmly. "Introduce us" Requested Hanna and I observed Emily shooting her an ugly glare. What wasn't going to work?

Hanna notices the glare and adverts her troubled expression towards the entrance "Spencer" calls Hanna she beckons Spencer towards our table. Hopefully nobody noticed my stunned expression but I couldn't help but silently stare at her dress she doesn't look comfortable in her sweet heart lilac dress. Every now and again she flinches next to Andrew. Does she feel vulnerable?

Spencer looks beautiful as I remember her. Her frame is still thin but in an elegant way so anything she puts on looks flattering except that dress. Everybody must have noticed my shocked expression by now I hadn't even recovered.

I had to attempt to make conversation. Ease the silence. I stepped forward. Act like nothing happened. "Hello Andrew" I began. With clammy hands I shook his, I wonder if he felt my hands trembling. Andrew was a tall man heavy and muscled under his white shirt. His ashy blond hair catching in the lights. He glared at me with his lips in a thin line but still took my hand and shook it firmly.

"Spencer" I acknowledged. I simply nodded brusquely in her direction not making any attempt at real contact. Spencer nodded too never meeting my eyes. Everybody watched as instead of making any functional conversation I toyed with my collar and Spencer shifted her weight from foot to foot, I could feel the warmth creeping up my neck.

Emily breaks the quickly becoming unbearable silence "Well are you going to sit down Spence?"

"Of course." Spencer insisted "Andrew sit next to me." she gestures to the seat beside her.

After the trial of ordering for eight the people around me seemed to relax and ease. Emily exclaimed enthusiastically I told her about my place in New York and she and Paige explained their plans. It made me smile optimistically; hearing Emily talking about her happily ever after, me and Emily always got back too each other one way or another.

Hanna and Katrina talked beside me elatedly Hanna boasted about her boutique and Katrina lapped it up peacefully. In-between conversation I catch myself glancing at Spencer in the candlelight her tawny brown hair seems to glow and her skin radiates with joy, her deep mocha eyes light up with colour, I find myself remembering touching her lustrous skin and how those eyes once sparkled with devotion for me.

"What are you looking at?" questioned Emily. I laughed weakly and turned back to her anticipated face

"Nothing." I muttered.

Katrina slurred a giggle as I kissed her cheek while she talked to Hanna "that's rude" she mumbled

"You're tipsy" I whispered in her ear "Let's go home, Honey."

"No. I'm having fun with Hanna." Katrina argued. She pouted irresistibly her glossy lips gleaming in the lights. "Fine." I grumbled.

I looked up allowing my eyes to wander the table giving myself freedom to roam the faces of the people around me. Spencer sits beside Andrew on the opposite side of the table like an opposing team and when I look up to glance at her, her eyes are settled on my she doesn't withdraw and doesn't glare but she holds me in my place. "Spence we better get going." Interrupts Andrew she stands up nodding in an agreement breaking whatever that was. I grip my cutlery as Andrew threads his fingers between hers.

* * *

Spencer POV

"Andrew I'll move in with you." I pulled the words begrudgingly from my mind formed the vowels and made the sounds. I would be off limits then maybe my mind would take a hint to stop feeling pain whenever Toby looked at Katrina or when she touched him. Every movement every contact those to shared made me weak.

It should not.

Andrew's eyes popped "Seriously?" he repeated

"Why not." I sighed yet Andrew grinned with beatitude.

I was scared and I knew because whenever I saw Toby wave after wave threw me deeper into the ocean and I was drowning. Andrew wasn't enough to save me. In my sleep toby's name escaped my lips like my only prayer.

When I got home I toppled onto the caramel couch, I'm trying to contain the pain and nobody can know about it.


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer POV.

I was alone in Andrew's apartment or my new home yet I didn't feel like home but then again the Hastings house had never been quite homey. The reason for Andrew's absence was simply his teaching job it didn't bother me or at least I didn't have the strength to be bothered. The tip of my nose was rosy and my eyes were swollen and red, when I woke I was sneezing vulgarly. I'd sniffled into the phone, coughing to the receptionist. It was easy to get out of work for being sick when you worked at the rosewood emergency health department.

I sighed and tried to rest but found myself constantly distracted by tiny uneven thing in this new place. I'm uncomfortable in Andrew's bed and shiver only slightly when I brush his pillow like it was a monster in disguise.

I took my drugs and flipped channels strenuously in an attempt to float away from life in sleep nothing seemed to be working. I gave into boredom collapsing onto the couch toying with dishevelled tawny brown hair.

My thoughts wandered, wandered straight into nostalgia! I shook my head furiously how could I think about Toby I was lying on Andrew's couch. I quickly disposed of those thoughts and focused on the black square of a TV.

After an hour the yearning of my heart tugged to and I simply gave up. I'd left the box under my bed the box that kept myself going I could never have the true thing I would not allow it but I needed a release for anger and the things blinding my love for Andrew.

I think about the people in rehab recovering from their drugs in rehab the staff destroy the source of drugs I should go their destroy it all I'll let myself scream and cry If I want. I need to unravel.

Without a second thought I grab my coat and bag. I need to stop hoping because I am lucky I lost Toby there was only pain with him.

* * *

Emily POV.

Hanna and I were seated in a small fairly quiet café I'd been giggling with Hanna over how she wanted Caleb to propose. Her thoughts were extravagant and expensive but I didn't deter her but the real thing on my mind was my excessive thoughts about Toby and Spencer.

I bit my bottom lip "Hanna I've been thinking about what you said, about how Toby and Spencer will be together if it's right." I began

"And you noticed what an amazing idea it is." Hanna replied with a scowl growing on her face.

"No" I sighed "Andrew is good for Spencer too he's right but Toby and her are more right."

Hanna was clearly oppressive now "Spencer's life is not a soap opera and neither is Toby's. Spencer spent a lot of her life in drama now she can be in peace. Toby's happy to can't that be enough for you Emily. No, it obviously cannot." She snapped "Em stop playing matchmaker."

I sighed "Your right. I'm out of my league."

"Definitely. Anyway Katrina is really growing on me." Said Hanna "Let's finish up. Alright."

* * *

Spencer POV

I stumbled through Andrew's door. My cheeks were swollen and blotchy with tears my eyes itched and stung awkwardly. My lungs still hurt from the yelling and the howling. My throat is dry and feels heavy with sand.

Andrew sits on the coach "Where were you Spencer?" Andrew questioned "What's wrong with you?"

"Andrew you're not my daddy, I was out." I grumbled "I'm not in the mood for the were-you-getting-drunk-and-high? Fight right now."

Andrew grimaced "Spencer were a couple so we don't lie or keep secrets." Andrew persisted

I sighed "I was out of bounds daddy, don't take me to my room." I mocked him which I knew was cruel but I was so dismissive right at that moment

Andrew's features darkened I could tell he was angry "I was really worried Spencer." He grumbled my name "You could have phoned. What if somebody had hurt you?"

"Worried you'd lose your trophy Andrew?" I sneered "in a relationship with a Hastings that must look good on your resume. Daughter of Veronica Hastings they must be real impressed."

His expression changed from his grimace to something that made me afraid. He stood up and strode towards me. He scolded me "Don't you do that again." For a second I saw his eyes gleam and I could feel his breath on my face.

His hand slashed across my cheek. My cheek pulsated and I howled silently, the pain throbbed and even when I thought I had cried so hard I'd lost the energy of tears I felt salty pearls grow in the corners of my eyes. My fingertips felt numb as I reached for my face I felt as if I was touching nothing. I felt so numb.

The gasp was delayed.

Tears slipped of the hazy film. I could feel them on the weight of my burning cheek.

My legs, I thought they were giving away and I would meet the floor.

Waves of pain ascended through me spreading like wildfire. I want to be on fire.

I would trade pain for this numbness.

He was there. Tears in his eyes pain etched into his features. He was speaking.

To me he was stringing sounds along never forming words. His hand, not the betraying hand, brushed my budding rosette stain. His finger lifted a salty pearl tear from my ignited skin.

I shoved him away with the fiery strength I could manage and turned for the door, now my convenient escape.

Running away into the stinging cold evening breeze. Letting the darkness swallow me whole.

* * *

**Okay that was exciting to write. Heaps fun. Okay that wasn't meant to sound evil I just haven't wrote a domestic violence scene before. When I wrote that last scene it was hard cause I wasn't sure how people take it when they've been domestically abused so I had no idea how Spencer would take it but she was going to take it worse than bad I mean she was just settling into a new life with Andrew an then I write something like this part :( anyway. I'm sorry my chapters are so short if it bothers you I wanted a cliff hanger here though so I cut it at the point she leaves. Also Andrew seems like a cuddly guy in PLL and I believe he is so this is like my own Andrew with lots of EVIL :O I don't own PLL or any characters mentioned except Katrina. Review! Maybe.**


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer POV.

I could hear the gravel crunching underneath my blunt heels. How long I'd walked I didn't know but the sun had wavered and died hours ago. Beside the luminescent lights of vague cars I was all alone except for the company of the glistening moon and the polished stars.

The road I'd followed was lonely and a long thick strip of tar and gravel. Glaring neon yellow stripes patterned my pathway. As I followed endless lines of tar, I struggled to remember why I was walking further and further from Rosewood. Well that wasn't quite true I could barely see five feet in front of me let alone how far I was from Rosewood.

Still the pounding of my head, silent screams and casual flaring of my cheek kept my memories clear as fine glass. Andrew had slapped me, we were both playing that game I'd taunted him earlier he'd slapped me and here I was running from something I didn't understand. Maybe I was attempting to run from myself, my demons and my evil. What are you saying Spencer? Andrew slapped you were has your feminism gone you're not playing this game.

He made a mistake if he could accept that maybe I could accept him. Make sure he knew that if he ever touched me like that I would not recognise it as a mistake. The part of my brain that never turned off argued. Where have you gone Spencer? You'd never let anybody treat you like this. Ignoring my rational thoughts that screamed desperation and loss I tried to focus on pretending things would be okay.

Suddenly within my daydream I tripped carelessly forward towards the gravel and I felt my tights rip excessively, my hands graze and my knees split. I scream aloud not because the road had ripped my tights or the fact my hands were grazed and my knees were split because I'd had it with the panic and the anger. I'd cried too much and screamed too hard where was Spencer Hastings? My chest wheezed painfully as I trembled with sobs and my head throbbed with emotion I couldn't contain.

I needed to go home now, before I broke onto this road and spilled out onto the gravel and tar.

The bitter breeze made me shiver the numbness of the cold pounding the pain. Two lights glared at me from a kilometre away I couldn't be road kill. I had to move my body. Obstruct myself from the road. I stood up and didn't bother running to the side whoever was in the car could see me standing in the middle of the road, for a moment I wondered if they could be more dangerous than Andrew.

In the black the tan was indescribable like some sort of sick nightmare. Great now after being slapped by my boyfriend, walking for hours to no destination, tripping into the road and ripping my tights. My saviour had to be Toby Cavanaugh, still I staggered towards the tan truck feebly. I waved and I watched him park smoothly. How could he still own that truck? He stepped out and suddenly I was highly self-conscious I thought I looked bad this morning. There was a bruise forming on my cheekbone, my hair was wild and ravenous to be brushed, my tights were torn maybe even my dress, my knees were bleeding and I was awfully sick with the flu all caught in the headlights like a deer.

* * *

Emily POV

Somebody was drumming their knuckles on the front door at two in the evening.

I groaned and staggered from bed grabbing my coat and throwing it over myself on my way to the door. "Sorry" I mumbled, tripping slightly over the rug to the door. I threw the door open weakly still rubbing my eyes. Surprised when I finally recognised the figure in the doorway.

"Andrew?! What's wrong? It's kind of late." I grumbled. Andrew was wearing a blue jacket and dark denim jeans he didn't exactly look peachy either his hair was unkempt and he seemed slightly gaunt.

"Sorry did I wake you?" He said brusquely

"Yes." He seemed to ignore me.

Finally when my sleepy haze evaporated I noticed how panicked he was "What's wrong?" I asked

"Is Spencer with you?" he repeated

"Is she meant to be?" I questioned

Andrew frowned "I'm really worried. We got in a huge fight." he said

I was surprised I thought things were perfect in Paradise so I couldn't help but feel slightly excited at the chance of Spencer meeting Toby "Did she say where she was going?" I asked, feeling awkward.

His bottom lip quivered. Something really bad must have gone down "No, she just left. It's my fault." I could tell he was struggling.

"Hey, she'll come back." I soothed. She may not want him back I don't tell him. "I'll tell you whenever I see her."

"Sorry for waking you Emily." He mutters

"It's okay." I watch him pace down the pavement towards his car. Its freezing wherever Spencer is she has to be cold and I do worry.

They seemed like a dream couple not long ago this must have been big to crumple them like this I hope Spencer is alright but she wasn't stupid she was probably coming back right now.

* * *

Spencer POV.

Toby didn't ask intricate questions only "Are you alright?" and "Do you need help?" I agreed to both and that was it. I sit in the leather seat smelling take away and nostalgia. The silence is killing me the ghosts of our relationship hanging over us with the weight of a boulder there's only so loud a late night radio station can be. I haven't even asked why he's out this late I'm too intimidated to, his eyes are glaring forward on the road with more than just concentration, his jaw is set and he's frozen with only his arms moving to control the car.

I think about my destination now and there is nowhere what can I do I've failed as a Hastings obviously. I could go to any of my friend's homes but I'd just be taking up space. I was twenty-three and known for being independent and anyway was I ready to explain why I was out in wherever I was at one o'clock in the morning.

I was so glad Toby hadn't asked me why I was in this state or why I was so lost actually he hadn't said anything but I tried to ignore that.

No home and I'd never thought love would get this tough. Glimmering tears swelled and slipped over my cheeks. "Spencer please, why are you crying?" his voice was so weak and dry it was a surprise he could form words. I faced him he was biting his bottom lip, he was gripping the wheel with such tight hands his knuckles turned white and I wanted to bleed into his chest and breath in nothing but him. I didn't even have the strength to fight my thoughts.

Tears kept falling and tracing the curve of my chin they were never ending waves of pain swelled within and broke. Crashing and thrashing within me. Toby looked away from me now and the most delicate drop fell to his lap. Still looking away he murmured "Can we pull up? I'm tired."

"Yes." I whispered in a raspy voice and I watched Toby swallow words down of great proportions.

We pulled up at a rest station which was a quiet clearing with three picnic tables and an abandoned trailer. Toby pulled up and we both left the car. He took a deep breath of unforgiving cold air and rubbed his eyes and I just stood there watching not making any movement I felt suspended and then he simply turned and walked away hands in his pockets and he didn't look back. I wondered if he was coming back.

I made my stubborn legs move across the clearing towards the edge where a fence kept anyone from plummeting to their death it hadn't been treated and had gave away at some point along the edge I collapsed their exhaling loudly and clearly. My ravaged legs dangled over the edge and I shivered like winter's dying leaves being taken by the breeze. I watch as a leaf besides me plummets towards the bottom landing in nothing but silence.

It is cold everything is cold. My dress is thin and I can feel a chill running down my spine I shiver and my Goosebumps raise. Going back could destroy me and I know it but I have to try, see if Andrew will apologise, buy some new tights and Band-Aids, I should buy some better concealer to hide this bruise maybe things can go back to normal.

My shivers become more intense and I begin to shake.

At the moment drowsiness begins to take over me warmth effulges me and I flinch because this coat smells of Toby and all the things I used to love so much and then I cry some more with pearls of salt dropping and thudding like rain. Toby shifts and sits next to me his legs dangle like mine swimming in the breeze.

The words aren't mine they have a mind of their own.

"My clothes still smell like you and all the photographs say we still love. I pretend I'm not hurt and go about the world like I'm having fun." I whisper the truth which is colder than the wind and Toby puts his arm around my shoulder and lets me rest on his shoulder. It doesn't feel as cold anymore and I don't bleed, I don't cry neither does he we just sit there frozen in the night.

* * *

We lie one the ground beside each other "What are you thinking about?" Toby murmured

I smile tenderly "The stars." I say "All the stars."

He laughs "Every now and then the stars align, boy and girl meet by the great design." His arm sway's outward to include the stars "Could it be that you and I are the lucky ones?"

I sigh and frown "No. I waited on your love for too long it's going to backfire." I objected

He doesn't seem to be even the slightest bit dejected he just grins "I'm tired of fighting you Spencer. Everything I do to prevent loving you doesn't work and it's not something I choose. I will follow for a little piece of heaven I'm willing to drown."

"No. I don't agree." I stammered, forcing myself to continue "I love Andrew not you, not anymore."

Toby sighed "That's alright to."

"Don't you love Katrina?" I questioned

His eyebrows pulled together in concern and thought "Of course."

"Why?" I asked curiously

"She's everything I'm not." He admitted "She's like an adventure."

"Oh." I mumbled there was nothing else I wanted to say and Toby was silent wondering if we were lucky to be apart.

* * *

My eyelids were so heavy and I felt sleep consuming me Toby woke me occasionally asking me questions that I barely had the strength to reply to. "The sun's coming up." He murmured.

I groaned and opened my eyes "Aren't you tired?"

"I was." He said bluntly "I'll take you home."

Inside of me I was screaming take me anywhere but home, make me forget about home anything just don't take me home take me to a new land. Still against my mind he stood up and stretched, walking towards the car. I shift and sit up. Watching the sun rise a new day and a new more in control Spencer awakens. I need to get it straight with Andrew today.

I walk with Toby towards the tan truck "Why did you keep it?" I asked bluntly

Toby tenses only slightly "I didn't." he claimed "It looks that way but I left it here at my dad's house."

Oh. That hurt so much it made siting in it wrong.

"I have to ask" Toby acknowledged "Why were you out there? Why were you upset?"

I couldn't tell him about Andrew not when I was still working it out myself "I was running from something." I admitted, frowning.

"It's alright if you don't want to talk about it" He reassured "but remember if you're running away I'll still run with you."

"It's going to backfire." I mumbled but still I rested my head on his shoulder

He didn't frown just focused on the road "That's alright but I can't hurt you so I won't bother you about it." He sighed. Then he smiled "Where should I be delivering you to. Andrew's?"

I considered this but quickly decided on Emily's place instead I needed time to get ready. "Can we please go to Emily's?"

Toby seemed troubled by this he frowned and shook his head slightly. "Sure." I watched him gulp but he didn't argue, he asked "This is going to sound awful and don't take it the wrong way but did something happen with you and Andrew."

"Only a fight it's not important." I gulped this time and he glanced at me wondering if there was more to the story.

"Alright." He simply said

Toby pulled up outside Emily's house I glanced at the door then at Toby he was completely focus on me he didn't look away. He mouthed my name and leaned towards me I didn't move. But I caught fire when he brushed skin only lightly and he didn't kiss me he brushed my lips with his a hair's width from kissing me I felt his warm breath on my lips. He pulled away and I was biting on my trembling bottom lip "I can't do this." I whispered so weakly Toby nodded and I swung the door upon and stumbled towards Emily's house.

I knew more today than I did yesterday.

I liked Toby. Fact: I love him.

I've waited on his love for too long now and this is going to backfire.

* * *

**So this chapter Is longer than all which is my fault I didn't know where to cut it. Okay I know Spencer goes back to Andrew but seriously guys there wouldn't be enough conflict if she didn't so yeah that's that anyway if there's anything you'd like to see happen send it in the Review and I'll consider it :) This chapter was heaps of fun to write and sorry for typos or bad punctuation that can happen. Review! Maybe.**


	6. Not really a chapter important!

**Okay so hi, everyone *waves awkwardly***

**I know I sort of stopped writing 5 years on which doesn't really surprise me sometimes I just stop doing things sometimes, seriously once I've shaved one leg I'll be like I don't want to do this anymore. **

**Hmm I'm thinking of starting a new Spoby multichapter it's really different because one of the main characters will be my own. Yeah I know it sounds crazy but I think it will work.**

**I don't really know about other people's views so If you want me to continue just comment in the review section an I'll keep going. **

**If I do finish I just want to say thanks for the reviews they make my day.**


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